For those of you who are easily offended, I apologize for the title of this post, and several others just like it. My intent is not to offend, but to draw readers. While I don't have any sort of overblown notion about how important what I write is, I still want people to read these posts. Otherwise, what's the point? I might as well just keep a diary, and, as we all know, people who keep diaries are lame.
In some recent post, I used the title "sexy shitwomen who love mules." The content of my post wasn't about shitwomen or their love for mules--I know this is a disappointment--I used the title as a sort of in-joke with a couple of friends of mine in Worcester, MA. (Big shout out to my favorite Italian shitwomen sisters!) Strangely, based on a web counter on this blog, this seems to be the post that has attracted the largest number of people. These people come from all over the world. The program I use to see how many people visit the site also shows me a map of cities where people come from. While I had been used to seeing the standard list of places: Brooklyn, Massachusetts, and a few other cities where I have friends, I was surprised to find that the "shitwomen" post attracted readers from all over the world. Of course, I wasn't surprised to see that people from France had visited--aren't sexy shitwomen who love mules sort of mainstream there?--I was surprised to see that people from Romania, Jerusalem, India and other far-off places had check out my page.
I've been thinking that my pornographic sounding blogs might be some sort of bridge to peace. With this idea of shit-covered women and their mule friends I seemed to have touched a chord of common ground between people of all walks of life, even sworn enemies. Perhaps the reader in Damascus and the reader in Jerusalem could bond over some sort of fecal sex fetish? Maybe I should put them in touch? But I don't have their information. But imagine if they did: A couple people, both from nations that regard each other as enemies, coming together in friendship and shit. This could be the start of an organic peace process, leading to an end to middle eastern hostilities.
Sure, this post isn't actually about sex orgy porno whore girls, or lactating women who fuck their pets--but it's offered in that spirit! These subjects unite people. So please, don't just read the post. Leave a comment with your e-mail address. That way, other people--people you may well have considered enemies--can write to you, offer to sell you bestiality videos, perhaps even masturbate while you pretend to defecate and make "meow, meow" sounds--whatever.
There is too much war in the world. It's time for people to come together in peace and bizarre sexual acts. I won't necessarily join you in these sex acts--call me a prude, but I'm just not into that sort of thing--I'll gladly be the host of this peace process.
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